When we left the house, a man was cycling along the road with a large ornamental plate in his bike basket, 2 really big grey dogs were being walked, and a smashed beer bottle, a squashed yoghurt pot, the empty packet of an antimicrobial wipe, a cigarette packet, and a very old felt tip pen were among the things found before we turned down the next lane. A little sachet of wasabi sauce, an empty bottle of Smirnoff Vodka, the first can (and then a spider with very robust legs was spotted by me in the bag we were putting all this into – I got him/her out and put him/her in a hedge), a squashed can of Rubicon sparkling mango juice, a Red Bull can, polystyrene, a 330ml empty bottle of Desparados tequila, a caramel macchiato cup, and the plastic packaging for a bunch of pink ornamental lilies were among the things found before the bag was emptied into the bin by Telford Avenue at 3.08pm.

Then – a fork, Haribo packet, limp plastic glove, and a Tescos something I forgot (because I got distracted by a loud robin who was very willing to pose for me) were found on the next street, where a woman walking a King Charles spaniel had a chat to us, and I unembedded a large plastic sack from the earth – and a very long wiggly worm (who was immediately named Wilfred by my mother – who names absolutely everything) wiggled away down into the soil.

We turned round at 3.40pm, 12 minutes later the bag was partially emptied into a bin, and we went up the other side of the road: a mostly full bottle of water in the hedge outside house number 46, then enormous numbers of cans, the 3^rd plastic glove, and 4^th cigarette box were among things found before the next bin.

Then a 50ml bottle of Smirnoff vodka was removed from the soil of a verge; house number 75 had a man bent over and gardening in his front garden – wearing shorts that meant the majority of his bottom was visible; more and more stubbed out cigarettes were discovered in the verges outside number 37, 31, 27 and 23; the bowling on the bowling green was continuing, house number 1 had a tiny bottle of Smirnoff vodka on its verge, the bag was emptied for the last time at 4.29pm, and we were home 5 minutes later (and were greeted by the cat).