On 3rd September, it was 8.05am when we headed down to breakfast (and I had rather wet hair), and once we’d eaten our choice (and knicked a bit as supplies for the day), we grabbed our luggage – we left at 9.18am, in a lot of sun, and found the Kristiansand train station.

Once there, I prodded the button on the train door and opened it – which seemed to confuse an elderly American woman stood there chewing gum who said ‘how did she open it?’, so I said I pressed the button, and my mother and I got on and found our seats, and the American woman and her husband (called George) were sat across the aisle. My mother got out her tablet, and the train moved at 9.54am, just as a rather large bearded man in dungarees with an extremely tall thin woman sat down opposite us. Warehouses were alongside a lot of the track until 10am, the countryside had a lot of trees in it, and Vennesla got stopped at 10.07am.
A man came along checking tickets while a mountainous area with trees and lakes was passed through….

…while the American woman was asking her husband if his ears had popped, Mum quietly said to me that this is where a lot of the worlds toilet paper comes from, and then asked if I’d like a hot chocolate. There were intermittent mountain tunnels, she had returned with 2 cardboard mugs and a massive cookie and then started listening to something via her hearing aids; and Nelaug – right next to a mountain lake – was stopped at at 10.50am. The American man had his phone stuck on his lap, the bearded man and woman were doing something I forgot because the American woman reappeared with a very tall thin lady from the coffee area carrying a couple of cardboard mugs, and Mum told me that her and the coffee woman had got into conversation – and she’s training to be a teacher and is doing this job because she needs extra money. It was 11.24am when something I forgot happened – because Gjerstand Station – right next to a massive station – got stopped at; Mum was wondering what it’s like living in a tiny mountain community, the extremely tall and thin woman opposite us (with the bearded man in dungarees) was eating a really pungent piece of bread with something on it as we approached Drangedal, and it was reached at 11.52am (and we seemed to have two and a half hours left to go). Quite a few big mountain lakes were visible between the rocks, and the train was jiggling a lot; Lunde was passed at 12.18pm, the American woman was telling someone on her phone to start gargling a bit of salt and that they’d seem all of Eric’s friends; and then Bo seemed to be the next stop, and was reached at 12.28pm (and my phone said it was 16°C). A little town called Grarv was the next one passed, Akerrhaugen seemed to have a massive lake in it, and Nordagutu was stopped at at 12.43pm; and at 12.55pm I was told we had an hour and a half to go.

More forests and lakes and the odd little village, and Saggrenda (by which point the woman opposite us had put salami on a slice of bread and it was rather smelly) preceded Kongsberg – reached at 1.17pm, then there seemed to be a little village called Raan, and I was trying very hard not to fall asleep. I failed, and it was 2.05pm when I woke up, and the carriage looked like it had more people in it, Mum said to me there was a lot more graffiti outside, Sandvika looked like the station before Lysaker (which had a retail park and a BMW showroom – among a lot of other things in it), and then a long dark tunnel took us to Oslo central at 2.26pm. We walked up a light tunnel which seemed to lead to what looked like the airport, where a child was lying on the floor and wailing, newspapers were being sold by a shop called Narvessan, and there were sushi bars, a grilled sandwich bar, a cafe called Steam selling substances in bags, and Oslo Visitor Centre had lots and lots of maps and leaflets.

We left the station at 2.40pm, there was a massive metal lion outside, and a man weaving wicker baskets; we seemed to be on a street called Stortorvet, and men outside ‘The Wild Rover’ were wearing Viking horns, there was a toddler cuddling a giraffe soft toy the same height as him, a very smelly Dutch cheese stall – next to a big statue of Christian IV, there were lots of tram lines not being used, and so being walked over by the lots and lots of people crossing Kongensgate, and a man singing (in English). We got a bit lost, there were a lots of toddlers in prams, a little Chihuahua was being walked, we asked someone I forgot for directions, made it to the hotel at 3.26pm, and I saw packets of Smash and Sorlands chips by reception and a woman at the desk checked us in, I grabbed a lot of leaflets, and we went up to our room. Mum did her usual unpacking, I ate the croissant from breakfast that had been squashed in my bag during the day and did some Duolingo while flat on my bed, and it was 4.53pm when we ventured out.

Heiman Husfliden was on Arbeidergata; pom-pom sort of magnets, nut crackers, moose hides, all sorts of soft toys, a moose and a polar bear and unbelievably fluffy socks were in Wal Nor Souvenirs a bit further down Karl Johans Gate; and we passed in front of parliament – which had Indian people with flags gathering in front of it, and then some Indian music started up and they waved their flags. There was a restaurant called Jensen’s Bofhus, a little park had pigeons and seagulls gathered round a statue in the middle, the National Theatre was showing Hamlet, Jane Eyre, and Julemiddag – and had a very big statue outside; Paddy’s Irish Pub and Odd Fellow Ordenen were on Stortingsgata – and we were very close to the Palace. That had a ginormous statue of a man on a horse (that said on a tiny metal plaque at the bottom ‘avduket 1875 utfort AV Brynjulf Bergslien – and on the side was ‘DET NORSKE FOLK REISTE DETTE MINDE’) outside, and I spotted a person in black soldiers uniform (with a hat and a gun) stood there. Across a park was somewhere where a stage had been set up, and some fences outside had festival programs and a sound check seemed to be going on; ‘Fredriksgate’ was a street off to the right we turned down next to the historical museum, a big white limo drove past, and it looked the festival was a freedom of expression 1. Kristin Augusto Gate was the next street and then we arrived back at the hotel, where a party was going on below the restaurant, and as guests we got a 20% discount there, so we sat down.

My cheese burger had a giant gherkin on top of it, Mum had a caeser salad, I saw a bus that said ‘FLYBUSSEN’ on it and a Hereford Steak House across the road; and a little boy (about 2 years old) in a highchair was waving at me, so I waved back and said to the parents that he was lovely (and they thanked me). It was an Oreo cheesecake shared by Mum and I for pudding; and back up in the room at 7.15pm, I put my pyjamas on and tried to make my complexion look better, and then we had a look through the TV channels, which had (among other things) Poirot, Die Hard 2, and a Norwegian program similar to Strictly Come Dancing.