When the car was left, I could feel a few spots of rain, and a tunnel with fish painted all over the inside walls preceded more roads, and as we neared the halls of the National Exhibition Centre – a queue was building up between metal railings. Those were wiggled round; inside, a man with a very specifically gelled moustache directed us, we tried to find hall 18, Mum thought we’d gone round in a circle, I didn’t, and the hall was found:

In it, there was willow made stuff, something to do with slug defence, water features, and a Jardin De France stall where a man called Laurent (there was another man who didn’t say much) grabbed my mother and started telling her about garden tools while saying ‘alors’ a lot, asked if I was her daughter – which I said I was and that I keep her under control, he said he does the same with his father, then loppers were demonstrated…

…my face was complemented, and something caused me to show them my info card (which I always have in my bag in case I’m questioned about my notepad – it explains encephalitis and short term memory loss) . A Lexus Takumi lunch club was at the end of 1 row, Thorntons Growing & Living had several different grow your own mushroom kits, Broadlands Pottery had gnomes and dog related decorations, Emotif had all sorts of stones – including sleep stones and snore stones, a Quince jewellery stall was also selling pyjamas, and I was irritating Mum due to the way I was browsing and she went and sat in the House Plant Hub. A stall called Naturally Nude Artisinal seemed to be all about curly hair and was opposite a stall about eyebrows, a choir started singing, a man from Bergs Design got a bit pissed off with me, a lot of diffusers were being sold by Natural Grace Scents, and The Plant Clinic was selling Soil Ninja stuff.

Weed Burners, water pumps, and lawn aerators were among things being sold by Draper Tools, Rotospa (apparently the Uk’s only Spa pool manufacturer) had tubs of pH increaser, Bullbarrow had lots of different coloured wheelbarrows, Moonshine was selling some sort of plant extra mixture; and by 12pm Monty Don was on a stage taking questions about fennel, coriander and dill, and a bloke nearby was doing sign language. Bulb planters, capability trowels, oscillating Joe’s, hand 3 prong cultivators, and perennial spades were being sold by the Kent and Stowe stall, and the British Garden Centre 1 was offering a free trowel for the first 100 sign ups, and selling illuminated wind spinners and flutterby butterflies; and TOFT: Crochet Garden Kits had crochet kits for vegetables – including mushrooms, broccoli and pea pods…

…then lots of eco seed balls were on a Googies Plants and Seeds stall, QWICKHOSE had enormous numbers of hose attachments, and Little Pricks were what I saw before I spotted Mum again at about 12.35pm – by which point she’d bought an inflatable thing. Great British Dogs was in a row with lots of alcohol and solar powered lights; and a bit more wandering was done before leaving the hall at 12.55pm, while singing was continuing. UCARGO was displaying an underwater garden, Garden Organic’s (www.gardenorganic.org.uk) stall where we volunteer, was found just before 1pm, followed by the Newson Health Menopause Garden; YEO Valley Milk had a Landrover Defender by their stall, – and a sign saying when craft workshops and a silent disco would be occurring, and were allowing people headsets to tune in to the ‘sound of moosic’ from the valley.

: A great day at Gardeners World Live…

The floral marquee was entered at about 1.10pm – where there were tiny trees, a hanging basket stall had banana split plants on it, a tiny pond was in the middle of a mini display garden, and a tiny tent was in the middle of the other one; a bloke called Conrad was manning the Woodland Trust stall, then Mum grabbed a leaflet about cruises and wanted a photo taken of something about ice gardens. I photographed more bonsais, ice alpines, and a big Harts Nursery stall was selling an unbelievable variety of lily bulbs; and the hall was exited and ice cream was found, and we sat under a tree to consume it.

It was 2.05pm when we got up again, the choir was still going, wheelbarrows that had been used as planters were admired, the British Bee Keepers Association had a shed – which was showing a brief film of bees inside, and had a military looking truck outside; and the We Grow Stage was passed before re-entering The Floral Marquee and going along the final row: of Bonsai plants, carnations, lavender, roses, pensterman, sweet peas, pond plants, orchids, gladioli, dahlias, fuschias, pelagoniums, a Calamazag plant nursery stall obsessed with dianthus, and a very nice little garden made by Dibley Nurseries; and W. Robinson and Sons had a mammoth pumpkin in a wheelbarrow. It was drizzling when we left the marquee at 2.37pm; the choir was still singing, there was another Jardin De France stall outside, and a lot of wooden ducks (in various sizes and positions – and some in different clothing styles).

The halls containing The BBC Good Food Show Summer were halls 19 and 20, and we seated ourselves outside the Artisan Coffee & Bakehouse place just before 3pm (as Mum wanted tea); a girl was carrying a cardboard box that said ‘OH MY HOG!’ on it, a brownie was shared, 3.25pm was when we next moved, and Mum joined the toilet queue. James Martins Dry Gin stall was visible from where I was stood while she was in it; I forgot when we left the hall because a bus appeared very shortly afterwards, we got on it – as did multiple little plastic trollies of plants and their owners, sweat was pouring down my neck, and Mum quietly said something to me that we both forgot because the bus stopped outside the east car parks and we got out. The car was found in the hedge it was parked in earlier, and it had temperatures at 30 °C when it moved, the queue to get out was long and it took a while to get through the barrier; temperatures had fallen to 25°C and we were following a Bentley with an unusual number plate as we left the outskirts of the NEC.