It was 24°C at 12.20pm when the house was left (I’d had to get a grip and grab my bag) : the care home on a nearby road had patriotic bunting round its sign, the park had undergone a lot of violent grass cutting, the knobblyness of the trees on another road caused me to wonder what it all looked like when they were first built; something called wind song acupuncture was advertised in the window of house number 12, and cellar conversions looked common.
2 little Schnauzers who’d clearly had haircuts were on Holly Walk, a Dachshund was yapping madly in the window of a house; the Gardens had an ice cream van in, and the bridge over the river had all its padlocks on it…
The river had a few geese on it and wasn’t a nice colour, a National Grid concrete hut had colourful blobs and several elephants painted on it, and house number 25 on Priory Terrace seemed to be called Elephant Wash – and was where the bridge was crossed. A man was playing a trumpet on a bench in the park, Mum wanted to eat something, and in the cafe at 1.15pm – something called a broccoli, edame, pea, mint, spring onion, and feta frittata was shared. I noticed cortado and matcha on the coffee menu, and a tiny little Dachshund (who looked like a chipolata on legs) was toddling along with his or her owner; and at 1.37pm we moved again, the Gardens were covered in picnic mats, a noticeboard mentioned Andre the Alligator, the bridge was crossed; and after another alleyway, Station Approach had a graffiti covered national grid metal box on it, and the station was reached at 1.47pm.
A very fed up looking man in uniform let us through the ticket barriers without looking at the QR coded tickets we’d printed and the scanners wouldn’t accept (as they only scanned barcodes); and up on platform 3 were people waiting for a delayed train to Bournemouth, a massive board advertising Marshmallow Insurance was on the opposite platform, a delayed train to Birmingham stopped and then set off again, a man in a fluorescent jacket with a whistle was walking around with a very bent neck, a robot announced that e-scooters are not permitted on trains, the majority of people on both platforms had their heads bent over their phones, the robot with a very posh voice was making announcements (and said the train was formed of 6 carriages); and the train appeared at 2.16pm and we got on it.
Google Maps was tracking us (and I noticed somewhere called Wormleighton not far from Banbury), the train was having its horn hooted a lot, the canal got whizzed over, and Banbury – at 2.34pm – had a tiny little Chihuahua on the platform looking excited (and his or her owner was poking her phone). A big Warburtons warehouse was a few more minutes down the line (following the same route as the M40), I was wondering about sewage powered teleportation by then (which I knew I’d wondered about before), I saw a big Walkers Crisps lorry on the M40 when it was whizzed under – shortly before Bicester North (stopped at at 2.49pm) which had lots of signs on the platform saying ‘alight here for Bicester Shopping Village’.
A massive DHL warehouse was several minutes further down the line, a lot of fields were covered in yellow oilseed rape flowers, some had sheep in, Haddenham and Thame Parkway (stopped at at 3.02pm) had small yellow signs warning people of turbulence that passing trains might cause, and the surrounding area looked very village like; very newly built houses were almost directly backed on to the train line, and Princes Risborough was stopped at at 3.10pm. I heard conversation about cheese going on between 2 girls in the carriage, a few little villages were visible in the countryside before High Wycombe, an announcement apologised for the slow speed we were going at by then (apparently a previous driver had told the signaller they’d hit a tree); and it was 3.27pm when speed increased again (we were told that branches had been heaved off the line).
Edvard Munch portraits at the National Portrait Gallery were advertised on posters at High Wycombe, Google Maps showed London approaching rapidly (and I noticed how the M25 encircles the city); it was 3.40 pm when the M25 was whizzed over (it had 4 lanes – and I was told it has 5 in places), warehouses were everywhere, a station that may’ve been South Ruislip was whizzed past, Wembley Stadium had some massive blocks of flats very close to it, Neasden was an underground station passed at 3.52pm, Kilburn 3 minutes later (and a big yellow crane wasn’t far away) and West Hampstead, a long dark tunnel was emerged from just before 4pm and we disembarked at Marylebone at 4.03pm.
Mum wanted tea and went into Starbucks; we ended up sat outside Greggs with teatime substances (and she’d bought a little thermos flask) – and the Chelsea Flower Show was advertised, pigeons were everywhere, ‘Scripture Alone For The Glory Of God Alone’ was on a man’s jumper, ‘Tutenkakun – The Immersive Exhibition’ was on a poster, a pigeon flew into Greggs, another 1 was on top of a pole with a Chelsea Flower Show poster on it, a woman was carrying a couple of packs of Tena pads, a blokes t-shirt said Beliers Yacht Club on it, someone in a fluorescent jacket with ‘Transport Hygiene Team’ on it was walking round with a mop, a poster said…
…on it; a boys hoodie said ‘dressed to kill’ on it and I was up to 99 photos today by 4.47pm – when the table was left again; my oyster card worked, Mums didn’t, I stood by the barriers and the draft coming up the escalators made it feel like a wind tunnel; we went down the escalators, Mullvad VPN was an advert on a tunnel wall, a Bakerloo line train was boarded just before 5pm and I managed to stay vertical.
People were told to ‘alight here for London Zoo’ at the Regents Park stop, we got off at Oxford Circus – where the musical Mrs. Doubtfire was advertised on a platform, I forgot when we got on the next one; and by 5.15pm we were on an escalator. ‘Chafing never felt sooo good’ were Nike posters on platforms at Kings Cross; above ground sunshine was bright, there was a TOOTBUS, taxis everywhere, and some big cranes and building work directly in front of the station, and then we walked along a street I forgot the name of – and the place called King’s Cross Hotel (which would definitely be termed basic) was found.
A lady at the desk gave us room keys, those keys seemed to open 2 different rooms doors, and once in the right one just before 6pm, I tried to hydrate myself, Mum started speaking German to her tablet, and I forgot what else occured before we got moving at 7.08pm .
Outside again – it still felt very warm, basketball was being played loudly on a street called Argyle Square; GET JAR was on scaffolding surrounding a massive building, and there were loud ambulance sirens, smells of fried onions, GAME NATION Slot club and lounge, and a man who didn’t look in the best health was trying to play some drums…
Prêt A Manger in the station had leaflets about iced lattes, and the foreign accented lady behind the counter said she was on a double shift; Burger King said ‘Home of the Chopper’ on it, bin bags were everywhere, and I forgot when we made it back to our room with food as I started munching an apple, Mum began eating a just purchased small ‘mindful matcha bowl’ (which seemed to be oddly coloured yoghurt and granola), ‘limited edition asparagus, prosciutto and egg salad’ was shared, and I’d stuck my devices on charge, brushed my teeth (and was already wanting my sonic toothbrush back) – and the lights went out at 8.45pm.
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