This morning, I forgot when the car moved, the Met Office thought it was 21°C; and there was a stop at the local pet shop – where Doggy Ice Cream was advertised on a board outside (also mentioning Pupsicles), and inside were Lacy the Sweet Potato cat toys, Applaws cat food, ostrich feet, collagen salmon pretzels, buffalo ears, all sorts of eco-friendly dog toys (including Carlos Capybara, Kelvin Koala, and Horace Hedgehog), Life of Riley minty breath treats, bags of duck feet, and a thing called a Snuffle (that said ‘mental enrichment for clever dogs’ on it). The road was continued down; Chesterton windmill became visible, and then Compton Verney (the manor house currently stood there was built in 1714) was reached.
We drove down the usual entrance, were told by a human that that one was the accessible parking only, so turned round; and when going down the correct entrance – ‘The Sunrise In Lisbon – Handmade Portuguese Tarts’ was on a sign, we were directed into a slot by a girl in a fluorescent jacket doing some arm waving, I saw a lady wearing a denim dress that looked like a sack, and sheep in the opposite field were being noisy.
We went down/along a very bumpy/lumpy grass-ish path – which was labelled as the entrance)…
…and at the end, was an area of tents:
The first row began with a stall called ‘reyousable’- that said something about 3D printing on it; there were some big bottles of Pinnock Gin and Spiced Rum; then signs of great eccentricity and variety were under a blue tent – with various wooden implements (including honey twizzlers, chess boards, and what may’ve been wooden elephants).
Mum had a chat to someone selling peanut butter; a ‘Rum Discovery box’ was being sold by the next table, a very very hairy man was describing how he uses the various types of Crazy Bastard Sauce to people; ‘Oh My Doh’ was a really colourful one; and Banhoek Chilli Oil had bowls for people to dunk stuff in. A stage that said ‘Ocado’ on and around it had someone speaking there and not a lot of people listening; a hut had a list up – with ‘electrolytes’ and ‘noot tropics’ (among others) on it, and we were offered a sample of some sort of liquid from it (supposedly meant to be pineapple flavoured) – and it wasn’t very nice. Planet Axe was offering people infinite throws, and was opposite the ‘Fire Stage’ (which was somehow related to a thing called The Big K); Laysacs were being waved around/inflated and flopped upon; a father was under a tree changing a child’s nappy; and under a green tent a man was holding a massive snake.
The axe throwing had stopped when we went back up the other way; fried ice cream was being sold – next to The Jerk Spot and opposite a family circus; Persian street food, Mexican ice lollies, and ‘Crumble Express’ were next to each other; 2 skimpily dressed females on stilts were trying to make out they were butterflies; and a ‘live music stage’/tent had a lady trying to sing ‘I wanna be a cowboy baby’ (and wasn’t suceeding). Hogroasts was the last stall on that row; a fountain/pool with eight strange metal shapes in it was at the back of Compton Verney house; and that we should have some lunch was decided.
In the cafe, a child was wailing, ‘Metcalfe’s’ was a packetted substance on the counter, a man was holding a bag with cartoon Dachshunds wearing Christmas clothing all over it, another’s t-shirt said ‘ALEXISONFIRE’ on the back; and a tiny boy had flashing lights on the trainers he was wearing. The curry we shared (and I was then reminded it was that or a burger that were the only vegetarian things on the menu) made my nose dribble and my mouth burn; a kyphotic woman was carrying a ‘pack-it-jacket’ in a bag; while sat there. I wondered if semolina was still served in schools (due to remembering it from the days of my primary school dinners), and if humans could eat doggy ice cream (which I later looked up – humans can, but it apparently tastes very bland as the bases tend to be unsweetened yogurt, puréed fruit, or coconut milk – and there’s no sugar), a lady was wearing a bedsheet like garment that said St. Lucia on it; and it was 1.35pm when we moved.
Sun was really really bright back outside, and the fried ice cream stall was staffed by 2 Jamaican looking men (one of whom had a hair net on) – rolling the ice cream in ‘a magic substance’ to prevent it melting, and then sticking it in a deep fryer.
I tried a bit while sat on a bench by a sort of childrens play area, a different lady in a bed sheet was carrying a massive neon green soft toy frog; we moved from there at 1.55pm (and I couldn’t remember if I’d brought my sunglasses with me), lots of drywors (it means dry sausage in Afrikaans) and biltong was on a stall called Marbled & Cured; then a man on a Lions Mane Mushroom stall told us about his father’s cerebral palsy and that mushroom extract had transformed him. By the time we passed the (alcoholic) sweet potato spirits stall Mum had purchased baklava; and a Pastel de Nata stall and The Great British Cheese Company were the last ones. We walked back up the hill, swallows/swifts were fluttering around, I could hear sheep noises, and the car felt like an overheated sauna – but only thought it was 20°C at 2.30pm.
That shot up to 27°C before the Fosse Way was reached; and home again I found a mug I’d forgotten about by my chair and ¼ full of very cold hot chocolate; Mum lost consciousness on the sofa, I put my pyjama bottoms on due to the heat, reviewed my photos (approaching 100 of them), and realised I was on my fifth page of notes for the day.
